Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Success isn't accidental. It's the story you rewrite the moment you stop living by the script others handed you. Everything changes. I'm Ras Patel, and on the Ras Patel show, we go past the polished Personas and into the moments that shape us. We explore identity, reinvention, culture, courage, and the unscripted conversations that reveal how people rise, rebuild, and rediscover themselves. These aren't interviews. They're turning points, the kind that shift perspective and sometimes an entire path. When life reshapes you, when clarity breaks through, when boundaries shift, that's where the real journey begins. The Raz Patel Show. Story rewritten, voices awakened, Journeys redefined.
So, Sam, how are you doing?
[00:00:48] Speaker B: I'm good.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: I'm so blessed to have you here today. Welcome to the Raz Patel show, and it's an honor to have you.
Wow. There's so many different topics to discuss, but I wanted to discuss something more personable.
[00:01:06] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:01:06] Speaker A: That's, you know, something that's dear to you.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: And that is our favorite Joe. So because being February, I really wanted to highlight what he meant to you. So if you don't mind, that's where I'm going to discuss that topic of Joe and how what he means to you and how he shaped your life. And, of course, deep dive into, you know, what your life really is and what your mission is, if that's okay.
[00:01:37] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: If you don't mind, let's dive right in.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: But, you know, again, thank you for coming onto the show.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to just us sitting and chatting and as you say, deep dive into some good girly conversations.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: Absolutely.
So when you look back at the early days, Sam, how did your experience of feeling lost, unheard of, shape the mission of reaching out now? Because that's where it all began with you.
[00:02:10] Speaker B: It has. It really has.
You know, looking back at those days of having two young children and going through a very messy divorce, it sometimes feel like, what am I doing right? I have two young children, I'm going through a divorce, and I'm starting a nonprofit organization.
They don't connect.
And I didn't realize. Of course, I'm sure we'll dive into it. I didn't realize that those early days will really shape the mission and the vision and the direction of reaching out now because of those hardship of fighting for my children and fighting for myself as well.
Because as a woman, as a minority woman with two young children, coming out of abusive relationship and being that shadow for so many years, I didn't realize that, okay, what is this going to become?
So it was a fight from the beginning, but the purpose, the direction, really fueled from really walking that path.
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Absolutely.
So why was it so important for you to create a bridge for others that you didn't have during your hardest sessions?
[00:03:27] Speaker B: Why?
[00:03:27] Speaker A: Reaching out. I know you went through abusive relationships and you were doing it in the moments of your children, but why? Why bridge that? Why not something else?
[00:03:38] Speaker B: I would bring up what my best friend did. I went to my daughter's elementary school and there was this mom who came in.
And at the time, I didn't know that I would have become that mom.
You know, when she came up to the secretary and she said, please tell me lunch isn't over.
You know, please tell me lunch isn't over. And I looked at the secretary like, what in the world is happening here? And then after she said, you know, don't worry. She took her and the little boy to the cafeteria and she came back and was like, joy. Her name was Joy. What was that?
And she said, sam, everyone doesn't live like you.
You know, And I was like, I'm sorry. She's like, shocking, right? Yeah, it was, it was, you know, this was a Title 1 school.
And she explained what Title 1 was. And she said that mom depend on us to not just feed her little boy, but to send home food sometimes in the evenings.
And she said, this school needs support.
And so reaching out now actually started just as a volunteer opportunity until my best friend said to me, you should be doing this. And I was like, I know politics, I know the government. I'm not going to jail.
[00:04:57] Speaker A: Beautiful.
[00:04:58] Speaker B: Irs. No. So that's. That's how it all started.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: I mean, you look into it.
[00:05:03] Speaker B: Absolutely. It was definitely nosedive nose dive, deep dive into the ocean. God help me.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: And that because many people, given your own hardship, your own struggle. Sam.
[00:05:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:21] Speaker A: I mean, with two babies.
[00:05:23] Speaker B: Two babies, Right.
[00:05:25] Speaker A: And being single.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Yeah. And to think about others and no job.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: And no job.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: It's just people from far away, they'll just say, are you nuts?
Are you crazy? First look at yourself. Get yourself on track before you do that. So emotionally, how does that factor in for you? That you're able to do it? Or you went straightforward, but yet you had two babies right there that you're working with.
[00:05:53] Speaker B: I did.
I often say that I became who I started, served.
I sat beautiful. I. I remember sitting in the Department of Social Services, you know, and. And waiting because my ex husband, he took everything.
He took my Name off of our accounts. We. He took everything. And so sitting in the department of social services and waiting to talk to my caseworker to get food stamps, you know, being on medicare or Medicaid, you know, you know, one of those things because he literally took every.
No insurance, no nothing.
And. And so that bridge caused me to like, okay, I got in because I knew the director, I knew the police, you know. Yeah. So again, that neck network was there for me. That network, it was accessible. Exactly. You know, so I didn't have to wait two, three, four months. Like how I hear some of these women have to, you know, do all these different things. So it's like, okay, don't give up.
You know, let us know how we can help. So becoming that bridge of hope.
[00:07:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: And say I get it.
[00:07:04] Speaker A: I understand you utilized your resources.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: To help others.
[00:07:08] Speaker B: Absolutely. Yes.
[00:07:09] Speaker A: That's huge. And what does it mean when you were able. And how did you feel when you were able to connect others through your own pain? How does it make you feel, Sam, that you're able to do this?
[00:07:23] Speaker B: The story of life. Right. Can. Can be so up and down with the mountains and the valleys. Right. And I'll give you two instances. There was one night where I was just sitting around the table with the kids and had very little in the house to eat. And there was a knock on my door and there was a bag of groceries. To this day, all these years later, I have no idea who left that bag. And a second instance that my girlfriend and I talked about every year we had a back to school drive because that's how the organization started volunteering and I didn't have the money to buy school supplies for Kendalli and Samuel, our children.
And so what that does. It brings life to a mission. It brings life to a purpose.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: Right.
[00:08:12] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, so. And seeing my circumstance and being able to say again, I get it, I understand, you know, is it brings. It just fuels and brings it all together.
[00:08:24] Speaker A: It's a rebirth.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: Absolutely. Yes.
[00:08:27] Speaker A: From your pain. And that's how reaching out now was formed.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: That's how it was formed.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: Amazing.
So how does it make you feel that you are now flourishing? And we'll get back to even deep dive on that aspect. But how does it make you feel that you are able to connect your children into your mission and also yourself, plus help the community?
What emotions are running through.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: My husband always says that I don't give myself enough credit because it doesn't feel like work. Right. It is very purpose driven. It's is what my pastor would say, turning your mess into your message or turning, Turning your test into your testimony.
And, and so that's what it feels like. It's. It's that purpose driven life.
[00:09:19] Speaker A: Right.
[00:09:19] Speaker B: Per se. Of. This is why I was born. Yes. Did I love being beaten? Do I love. No, of course not. Who would? Right.
And. And some of us, we stay victimized to our pain.
[00:09:32] Speaker A: That's the key.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: And I refused.
[00:09:34] Speaker A: That's the key.
[00:09:35] Speaker B: I refused to be known as what statistics would say, you know, she's gonna amount to nothing, you know, or her children is going to amount to nothing. And that, that's not the case, as you know, with where my babies are in their lives right now.
Yes.
[00:09:50] Speaker A: And I just love the fact that you, you're a strong woman, Sam. The fact that you, you. One of the things that you said, and that is a key factor, is you refuse to. To be victimized.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Absolutely. Yeah.
Me or my children.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: And that is a hope itself, Sam.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: It is.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Because, I mean, the fact that you are able to utilize this platform to say, and I'm sure you're providing a sounding board to other ladies who've been victimized on. In your mission, I'm assuming. Right.
[00:10:28] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: So they have a place where they feel safe and connected.
[00:10:33] Speaker B: Yeah. That transparency.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: The transparency, yeah.
[00:10:36] Speaker B: I've heard, especially when I worked at the Senate, you know, I heard well put together. You know, there's that frosted glass where, you know, you look so pretty on the outside, but you're all frosted on the inside.
And that's how I lived for many years, you know, and until that pivotal moment where this young girl, she said, I saw that she looked very sad.
Right. And even before I knew what my life would become.
And the next day she came and I shared with her the things that I was, you know, that I was going through, the things I had gone through as a teenager.
And she came and she sat beside me the next day and she said, my plan was to go home and commit suicide.
That's when the glass.
That's when the glass got shattered.
And I say no more.
[00:11:29] Speaker A: It just breaks my heart that, you know, one thing is the fact that she said those things. The other thing is. She said it to you.
[00:11:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:41] Speaker A: And she trusted you, Sam.
[00:11:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: She was reaching out to you.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: Simply because I became transparent is beyond the stilettos and the suit and. Oh, I work at the U.S. senate Federal Credit Union, you know, it was.
And I'm your supervisor. It was beyond that. It was seeing that this young girl, this Teller, you know, was just like, there's something wrong. And to share openly, not deep dive, you know, but share openly that something's wrong. Are you okay? And she shared, you know, what was going on in her relationship and such.
And so for her to say the next day, come back, said, you saved my life because of what you just shared with me yesterday, because I look at someone like you and cannot believe that such a well put together woman was going through what you were going through. Oh, gosh. So.
[00:12:37] Speaker A: And that's that.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: That's the bridge.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: That's the bridge.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: That's the bridge, yeah.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: And I'm so blessed to know you, that you are here serving your purpose and being a blessing to everyone.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: Thank you for that, my friend.
[00:12:54] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:12:55] Speaker A: So coming up, we're going deeper into the part of Samantha's journey many people never see.
Breaking the silence around trauma and the long road to healing.
You're joining the Raz Patel show.
So, Sam, thank you for sharing this. Now let's take another turn.
You've, of course we know why you with Jo, and I'll let the audience know for themselves in a bit.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:36] Speaker A: But you mentioned something about your past relationships, right?
Your abusive relationships that you've had and of course how that's why reaching out now has been formed. But take us a little bit in that journey, what it meant to you, what was the emotional factor that you were involved in and what actually happened, if you don't mind. And of course, to whatever level you're comfortable with, just to give us a bit of understanding.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: Absolutely. You know, imagine a six month old, you know, laying beside you and you are in so much pain that the only way out that you saw was suicide.
That was the emotional toll is I laid her down, take a nap and got bottle of vodka, bottle of Tylenol, because that pain is real, right? And when I looked at that beautiful little girl, right, I literally believed that she deserved better.
You know, that big eyes, fluffy cheeks, and she's precious, you know, and in everything that I went through to bring her into this world because again, I wasn't supposed to have children, right? And I looked at her and it's like, you're going to not want me as a mom.
And I attempted suicide.
And again, the pain even hit deeper than that because of course I'm here by God's grace. But waking up in the hospital instead of thinking, okay, where's my baby? The first words that I could remember I uttered were, girl, you are so stupid. You can't even Kill yourself. Yeah, I shared that with. Yeah, we've talked about that before.
That was my first words is, girl, you're so stupid, you can't even kill yourself.
[00:15:53] Speaker A: Not, girl, what did I just do?
You're still in that deep hole that you want to just end it. See, that's many of us, ourself included.
And I mean, you know my stories and so forth, but some folks would say, how could you being a mom, that you're selfish, that you're this.
So I guess we want to understand the level that someone has to be at in order to take that approach, to take that journey of, I want to end my beautiful life and it's not worth it.
[00:16:41] Speaker B: Yeah. And. And sometimes people see, like, different stars and things like that. It's like you have all this money, you have all this fame, you have all the. All of this. Yeah, I lived in a beautiful house, you know, have this beautiful baby, you know, Again, postpartum depression was a factor because, of course, the. Of everything that I went through being pregnant with her. But, you know, behind that story was yet a priority, previous abusive relationship of being beaten at. Being beaten at age 16, being taken to.
This is where I'm going to bury your body. If you ever leave me. You know, to not having your own life, to really more or less conform.
And a lot of abusers, you know, especially those who beat you, for lack of better term, literally, again, you. It becomes a drug. Because I remember my first.
[00:17:42] Speaker A: It is addiction.
[00:17:44] Speaker B: My first husband, he would. Why don't you listen to me? Or during those times of being beaten by him, would pick me up and bring flowers. And it's control. It's control. It's like you become. They become your addict.
Right?
[00:18:03] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:04] Speaker B: And.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: And you want to just. Just fly out of that. You know, you're. You're a bird in a cage.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:11] Speaker A: And you want to escape.
[00:18:12] Speaker B: Yeah. So you conform. And then when you conform, it becomes an addiction. Because then, okay, he's beating me, but he's taking care of me. And then you die.
Sometimes, you know, we wonder, why do you keep going back?
Because there's some normalcy to the chaos and to the crazy. But when you do get out of it and you realize, oh, my gosh, I didn't love myself, and you don't go through the process of being healed. You just end up with a different wolf, but just different coats.
And that's what I did. Yeah, that's what I did.
[00:18:50] Speaker A: So you went through two relationships.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:18:54] Speaker A: And because, you know, people wonder why you pick the same type of people over and over when they've already abused you should learn the first time. But it's the comfort, right?
[00:19:06] Speaker B: It's the comfort. And not understanding why. Because my thought process was, okay, he's the second. I'm not going to do this again. Because you tell yourself, right, you not going to do this again.
And there's a different wolf out there. And you don't realize the deception of you not being healed yourself, that there's still that longing inside you just to be loved, just to be taken care of. Right. And just to feel seen and not rejected.
And so, okay, he's going to be older, he's going to be more established. He's all the things that you think you should be looking for.
And then if you don't go to therapy, if you don't find healing of yourself, you are going to keep going back and ending up in those exact relationships.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: So you mentioned therapy and healing to you.
How did you break that prison? How did you come out, become this strong individual? What helped you to heal? What were your steps?
[00:20:05] Speaker B: My best friend, my. My second husband. Crazy to say that I had to.
But my best.
Um, so I.
She called me and she said, what if that was your daughter?
Oh, and here's the crazy part. And statistics may not believe me, but when you're in it, there's a deadly difference to physical abuse and emotional abuse.
My second husband abused me emotionally.
That you begin to lose yourself, begin to question yourself.
You're a bad mom. You're going to hell.
You've slept with every senator on Capitol Hill.
You just like, I'm shocked. You're shocked like, I'm nothing. Yeah.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: Or you start thinking, am I right?
[00:20:59] Speaker B: Exactly. You know, was that the reason why I got this job?
You begin to second you self doubt. Okay. Am I a good mom?
And then my best friend said to me, what if that was Kendale A.
And that was a turning tide. And our son, who was just three years old, I was folding clothes, and I said, come and help mommy fold clothes.
And he said, boys don't fold clothes.
They're my champions.
I said, okay, stay at home, Mom.
Nothing used up my 401k.
That was my turning point.
[00:21:43] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:44] Speaker B: Those Two babies.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Yeah. 100%.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Yes.
Okay. The generational curse.
This stops with me.
My son will not grow up as an abuser.
[00:21:59] Speaker A: You gotta break that chain.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: I had to. And those were the two moments to this day I remember that broke that chain.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: What do you have to say to those who are listening right now?
What Will help them to come out of their silence.
What steps or measures should they take?
[00:22:19] Speaker B: I became.
I'll give you one more story.
I remember when I left when my ex husband took me off of our insurance and car insurance, everything.
I remember, you know, just looking outside and I said, you know what, I don't know what it was, Raz, but I went down to the police chief and I said to him, I have no money, I have no insurance.
Tell your officers when they see this name tag, whether I run a red light or, or whether I don't stop because my brain is not working right now. Tell them don't pull me over because I'm not going to pay the ticket.
Tell them, tell them don't pull me over because I'm not going to pay the ticket.
[00:23:10] Speaker A: But see, I see the brave you, the strong you coming out slowly.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: Oh, it did.
[00:23:15] Speaker A: The voice coming out.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: Yes, yes. And when my ex husband came in, broke the protective order and came into our home and raped me.
[00:23:27] Speaker A: That was, that was it.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: That was it.
That was it. So I will say to that woman out there that as broken as you feel, there's strength within.
I didn't think I did. Again, two young children living in a 3,300 square feet home, no money logged off from all of our accounts, no food.
And like my grandmother said, I stepped out and I walked barefoot and I said no more. So you can. There is strength. I'm living proof that it is possible.
[00:24:03] Speaker A: Absolutely.
And what you were able to help yourself and you gave those measured steps to yourself. And of course thank you for enlightening us with those who can. But is there any last minute thoughts that you could give us? How, who should they reach out?
[00:24:24] Speaker B: Yeah, there's, you know, different states have different things. You know, Maryland has Sexual Assault Legal Institute, they have center, you know, we have center for Abused Persons everywhere. We have, you know, organizations that support and help, you know, we have the hotline. There's many. I'm blessed without state that there's so many different resources that are out there. You have Department of Social Services, you know, you have the sheriff department, the police department.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: You're not alone.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: Right, Exactly. Raz. Reach out.
Pastors, you know, friends, reach out.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: But reach out.
[00:25:03] Speaker B: That's the.
Don't stay silent.
Reach out.
[00:25:08] Speaker A: Thank you to someone.
Thank you, Samantha. For viewers who want to learn more about reaching out now or support your mission, where can they go?
[00:25:18] Speaker B: They can go on our website, it's ww.reachingoutnow.org and they can view our programs. They can donate. They can see how they can engage through our newsletter or, you know, or through Facebook.
Reaching out now. VA. We're on Facebook and we're getting on LinkedIn, so research. Yay.
Reaching out now. And we're on Instagram as well, so. Yes.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: Beautiful. I can't wait. I can't wait. Thank you.
[00:25:48] Speaker B: Thank you so much,
[00:26:01] Speaker A: Sam.
After everything you have been through and, you know, before I go to the next question, thank you for sharing.
[00:26:09] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: It means a lot to me.
[00:26:11] Speaker B: Thank you for having me.
[00:26:12] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's not.
And I promise I won't cry.
So in order not to cry, we'll just shift a little. Yeah, we'll pivot.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:24] Speaker A: After whatever you've been through.
[00:26:26] Speaker B: Right.
[00:26:28] Speaker A: How did your heart accept Joe?
[00:26:31] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness.
[00:26:32] Speaker A: How did he come into your world after? You know, because, you know, parts of your world eventually gives up on men, Gives up on love.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I did.
You know, the beautiful thing about this love story is there's no secrets.
Joseph, when he was. Or my. My Joe, my Joey, when. When reaching out now first started, and he. He told you and Johnny this. That me and my best friend hit him up for money.
But he was.
He was friend first, right? Yeah. You know, and so I remember the first time when I spoke out about my abusive relationship and he was in the audience.
[00:27:24] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:27:25] Speaker B: So from the beginning of our friendship, of him knowing. Knowing the kids and everything, we were friends first.
So there's no. There's no hidden secret. There was no hidden agenda.
And I remember, again, the friendship was just absolutely amazing. And then my girlfriend was the one who noticed the shift.
And again, I pay no attention because I'm just trying to survive here, right? And she's like, I think Joe likes you. I'm like, girl, you're crazy.
Look at this hot mess. And look at him.
[00:28:02] Speaker A: Yeah, he's quite handsome.
[00:28:04] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Like, look at this.
[00:28:06] Speaker A: Don't. Don't fool yourself. You're a beautiful lady.
[00:28:08] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you. You know, but. But then, right, again, that broken the.
[00:28:12] Speaker A: But in that moment, right?
[00:28:14] Speaker B: I said, I'm reaching out now, and the kids are my focus right now. I. I need. I need. I'm happy. I need no relationship. And she's like, okay, you know, and one event, he came. It was an open house, and I, you know, had all my girly stuff because I'm girly, you know, Know, my. My. I had long hair back then, and he was wrapping up my curling iron and my stuff. And.
And. But the. The change to that. What Pivot my heart to him was number one therapy.
I, I, I, because I had to heal. I had to heal and just really got back into my relationship with God. You know, was, was those two things. But one afternoon I was taking, picking up Samuel from school and I got a flat tire and I was like, Jesus, really, I don't have any money right now. Flat tire.
And I just heard that still small voice of call Joe. I was like, no, the devil is a liar calling that man.
And so I called Joe and of course I ended up calling him. And he drove, he wasn't far from where I, from where I was.
And he drove and he came and the first thing he said, are you okay?
And it's like, yeah, I'm okay. And he's like, so you need, you need help? I'm like, duh.
You know, just trying to be that strong woman, you know. And he's like, okay, getting to the car, his car.
Getting into your car, into a car. We're going to go get your attire.
And I remember in my heart, Raz, I was like, who are you?
Right?
Because my life has so been accustomed to what's wrong with you.
[00:30:08] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:09] Speaker B: Didn't you see that?
[00:30:11] Speaker A: Right? You're used to those kind of inflicting words of pain, you know, and that you, you belittled in every aspect. You're abused with those words whether it's physically or emotionally. And here's someone who's actually giving you the affection, making sure you're okay. I mean that's huge.
[00:30:31] Speaker B: That's the first piece of who are you?
[00:30:34] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: You know, and, and it's a disbelief. I, I was. And you know, our viewers may think really?
But I know, yes. It's like are you okay? Was his first words not what did you do now? Right. So, so huge. So that's when our friendship began to evolve into. Oh, he, he milked that for all it was.
It's like, do you want anything else? I'm like, no.
[00:31:02] Speaker A: Then yes, that transition from friendship to love.
[00:31:07] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:31:08] Speaker A: When did that actually happen? Or is it just, just a free flowing?
[00:31:12] Speaker B: It, it became free flowing where he, I'm not sure if he've shared this with you and Johnny before, but Joseph didn't tell me that he loved me for an entire year.
[00:31:23] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:31:24] Speaker B: He showed me sweet New Year's Eve. We went to the international ball in D.C.
and when the ball dropped, he looked at me and he said, I love you.
And for a full year I was like, okay.
But that night he said, I didn't Tell you, because every so many people in your life have told you I loved you.
I love you, Sam. I love you, Sam. But then they did the total opposite.
And so a motto from since then is, treat me right and I'll treat you better.
And, and it's, it's a crazy love story, but it's, it's, it's real and crazy and,
[00:32:12] Speaker A: and that's how your heart started trusting him and trusting love.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
He was so patient.
To this day, and you can ask the children, to this day, I'm the crazy Caribbean one.
He's never raised his voice at me. Never in all these years.
Yes. He's kind of, he's still. Who are you? Yeah.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: And so give us a little bit of insight into what love really is.
With Joe.
[00:32:43] Speaker B: It is bike riding for him is, yes, he looks GQ on the outside, but he loves his Harley.
And, and it's a balance, right? It's that balance of again, being in an interracial relationship.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:33:03] Speaker B: Brought its toll. Number one.
I was called a sellout, right in Panera Bread. This woman came up to me and she said, you are so gorgeous, but you're a sellout.
I was like, okay, thank you.
Among other things, you know, but we,
[00:33:23] Speaker A: and this is the century we're living in right now. Can you believe that? Yeah, actually we can.
[00:33:29] Speaker B: Yeah, we can. And so there's a pureness to our love where I'm free to be me, you know, where I'll talk Caribbean and he'll ask the kids, what did your mom just say?
[00:33:43] Speaker A: So cute.
[00:33:44] Speaker B: You know, and he just, there's just a flow to him that is just so easy and just loves so, so unconditionally that it gives me the opportunity to just be chill. Just be chill. Yeah.
[00:34:04] Speaker A: You being with Joe, it's beautiful.
So he, once he retired from his corporate life.
[00:34:11] Speaker B: Oh, bless the Lord,
[00:34:15] Speaker A: because it's great when every, you know, you have your time, your freedom and you're still in love and all that. So when he retired, he helped you with the reaching out now with the mission. So take us a little bit more into that world of his retirement and how that does. Did it impact your relationship with him or how did it. Or, you know, did it bring you closer in any way?
[00:34:39] Speaker B: No. That is good. And the two part answer to that is he is a blessing and my nightmare.
He's my blessing and my nightmare because all these years, right, our lives were so structured to. Okay, he gets up at 4am, 4am, 2am in the morning and he goes To Costco, and he does his thing and we come home, we have dinner, we go out to dinner or go to a show, and he goes to sleep and he wakes up. So I had the autonomy to just, okay, I'm going here, I'm going there. You know, it was my world, right?
[00:35:18] Speaker A: And he's part of it.
[00:35:19] Speaker B: And. And he's part of it where, you know, he. Oh, my gosh, he is my biggest, biggest cheerleader.
[00:35:24] Speaker A: Yeah, right.
[00:35:25] Speaker B: Has always been.
But now here's the director of business strategies, impeding on my territory.
[00:35:34] Speaker A: Hence why we laugh.
[00:35:35] Speaker B: Hence why we laugh.
But, yeah, the blessing he has been.
Then I was like, oh, my life is about to change. My world's about to change.
But crazily now, I don't see myself doing this without him.
I really don't.
[00:35:54] Speaker A: He's the biggest pillar.
[00:35:55] Speaker B: He is.
He is. And he is real audience. I promise. He is real.
He is my. He is that, you know, six feet tall, just wrapped myself in his arms. That safety net of all. All is well. You know, he just takes control. And even though I fight him on some things, he's like, honey, let me do my thing.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: So, yeah, that farm. Love, but love at the end.
[00:36:24] Speaker B: Day. At the end of the day. Yes.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: So any cute things that you do together.
[00:36:30] Speaker B: What is love?
[00:36:31] Speaker A: We.
[00:36:32] Speaker B: We love going. Just jumping in the car and just driving.
It's that, that.
That piece. Yes, we. The kids will say that. Oh, they're so bougie. You know where we'll go to a show or we'll go to a play or we'll, you know, we love. Like, we love food, Raz. Both of us love food. Me and you. So we'll. We'll find that food. Fine dining restaurant, you know, but over the summer is going to buy ice cream and just driving or when we travel because Florida is my serenity.
So two or three times a year, we will go down to Florida, whether it's a weekend or for a week, and spend time with family, you know, before his parents passed away and now his sister lives there. So we still do it.
And so that's what keeps us just grounded and just in love. That still treats you right. And I'll treat you better.
[00:37:31] Speaker A: See, this is real love. This is the real love that you need. It's just being yourself in front of others.
[00:37:38] Speaker B: Right?
[00:37:39] Speaker A: So what do you have to say to those that are too damaged at the moment?
[00:37:43] Speaker B: You're not too damaged.
You may feel damaged, but you're not too damaged.
Because all of us deserve love.
Right? It's not about marriage.
It's about relationship.
Right. And there is a relationship for you out there. But the difference with my relationship with Joe is that I first had to love me.
[00:38:05] Speaker A: See, you have to first love yourself.
[00:38:08] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:38:09] Speaker A: That's huge. So coming up next, we talk about advocacy, purpose, and the message Samantha wants every woman in the shadows to hear.
Thank you, Samantha, for being on the show. I really appreciate it. And we were just talking, you know, it's.
It's great. We can talk about love. And in the month of February. Absolutely.
What better way than to talk to one of my really good friends?
[00:38:45] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:38:45] Speaker A: Thank you.
Let's talk about reaching out now.
It's been a great strength for you in many aspects, being involved with reaching out. Now, how has that helped you in your healing journey?
I mean, I know you mentioned in the beginning, but just overall, being an advocate of. Of reaching out now, in terms of what the transition, you know, you. You mentioned in the beginning how you were involved and how you got involved, but in the present, what does it mean to you?
[00:39:20] Speaker B: No, I'm so glad you asked that question. You know, from a dis perspective. Right. Of these years later, anyone will tell you that our kids.
Oh, my gosh, they.
The kids in this program are fuel to me.
You know, their life, they're fuel to me.
I just love them so, so, so very much. They're literally my children.
And when I lost one of them, you know, dear friend of mine's daughter committed suicide. As you know, Harley, that even fueled me even more to be an advocate and to be a voice for the voiceless meaning, to give them a voice.
So what that has done is even though I was silent and silenced when I was younger, to see how they're thriving now, to see how they advocate for themselves.
That's what brings to life reaching out. Now, not me, not Jo, not our board, but what we're seeing being generated in the lives of these kids that we serve every year.
[00:40:29] Speaker A: And it's beautiful, Sam, because you're giving voice to those who don't have a voice.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: Right.
[00:40:36] Speaker A: You're giving them the courage, a platform to say, I have someone who trusts me and I'm safe.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:44] Speaker A: Right.
[00:40:44] Speaker B: That's safety. And right down to knowing their name, who they are, you know, what they love. I would drive to Chick fil a and just bring Chick Fil a back to them because I know that it would brighten their day.
[00:40:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:40:57] Speaker B: You know, and so that piece of loving on them, that piece of. They'll tell you, you know, especially My Iris, you know, and Marie, they started with the program and then when they were in sixth grade and they're graduating this year, and the new kids that come in, they'll say to them, prepare yourself, because she's going to make you uncomfortable.
She's going to. Going to let you talk about things, and she's going to let you talk, you know, so to see that they started in sixth grade and now they're advocating for the organization and saying, prepare yourself because she's going to make you uncomfortable.
[00:41:31] Speaker A: Beautiful. And you know you're not doing this alone.
[00:41:34] Speaker B: No. Right.
[00:41:35] Speaker A: You have so many people around you who are supporting you.
[00:41:39] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. It's not an I thing.
[00:41:41] Speaker A: It's not I thing.
[00:41:42] Speaker B: It's not an I thing. And again, my friends and the board, which you are on now, which I'm so excited, they will tell you. Joseph will tell you. It's not an I thing. Yeah. Am I a stickler to how things should be done or how, you know, the flow of it? Because they are important.
[00:42:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Huge.
[00:42:02] Speaker B: They are so important.
Yeah.
[00:42:04] Speaker A: And it's. It's one thing that you have this mission to help the youth, but indirectly or directly, you're also helping women to step up.
[00:42:15] Speaker B: Yes.
Yes. Those. Those are my passion. Youth and women, you know, because in our society, sometimes those are the ones that have the least voice.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: Right. You know, the ones that are unseen can be seen.
[00:42:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Yes. Like, be strong, be powerful, be motivated, be respectful.
You don't have to be the loudest one in the room, but when you step in, make sure that your presence is verified and validated, not by the voice, but just by how you step in and how you represent yourself.
[00:42:48] Speaker A: And that's huge, Sam.
You know, love comes in many forms.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: Very true.
[00:42:55] Speaker A: You're bored. You're reaching out. Now, the mission, the way that people, whether it's youth, women, men and so on, everyone comes collectively to together. I mean, I've had the pleasure of being involved in few aspects of it, and it's an honor for sure. And I'm looking forward to even more. But we all feel that love and affection.
[00:43:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:43:21] Speaker A: And it's all due to you, where you radiate that warmth.
[00:43:25] Speaker B: Thank you so much. Thank you.
[00:43:28] Speaker A: So, Sam, having that warmth that you have, given your past history, and now you have a beautiful husband who takes care of you and you take care of him, by the way.
It's mutual.
So what do you have to say to the women who are looking for this kind of relationship that they can come out of this broken Environment. Yes, it's one thing to get the help, as we mentioned, but now the next step is to finding that love.
So what do you have to say for those who are broken?
[00:44:07] Speaker B: You know, one of my really good friends just bought me some T shirts for my Christmas, and she said, you know, the T shirt says, get yourself Mr. Joe. Not mine, though.
[00:44:18] Speaker A: Love that.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: Love it, Love it.
So there is. He's my ribbon, you know, And I believe that God created us in a way where we're not supposed to be alone. And, yes, a lot of us have been through very dark times.
I will say again, love yourself, because this dark journey, it is a daily fight because your mind will tell you you're not good enough. And that's where my. That's where my amazing husband comes in, because he. She champions me to like, yes, you are. You're. You're amazing. You are. You. You. You make great sacrifices, but it begins with loving you. It begins with understanding. Yes, you've been through this pain, you've been through this time. But you don't have to be a victim to your past.
You know, there's victory out there, and there's a possibility of finding love, finding relationship, finding your path.
But it all starts with reaching out. It all starts with being transparent. It all starts with saying, hey, I am going through this.
And for leaders like us, that is hard.
So it's finding that trusting person as well, is finding that person who will say, hey, can we talk? Can we be transparent? With what's happening in my life right now, it's building that trust. Trust, that trusted space.
So I think that's where it starts. That's the message I will give to the women, you know, the men who are watching, because, you know, we have men who. Who are going through things as well, too.
Is.
There is a. There is a path, there is a purpose. Don't. Just don't give up.
Please don't give up.
Because if I did give up, which I tried to. Yes.
I wouldn't have been be sitting here with my amazing friend right now.
Right.
[00:46:11] Speaker A: That's the view from the bridge.
[00:46:14] Speaker B: Yes, that's the view from the bridge. That's the view.
[00:46:17] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:46:18] Speaker B: Yeah. No, you're amazing.
[00:46:20] Speaker A: You're amazing.
[00:46:21] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:46:22] Speaker A: So how do you and Jill protect and nurture your relationship, that ongoing relationship, to strengthen it and keep on. He's been through many things, I'm sure, and so have you. But, you know, one of the things that stands out, it's how you nurture the children together.
It touches my Heart and Johnny's heart that, you know, we keep talking about it. It's just the love he radiates towards the children.
[00:46:48] Speaker B: Oh, he loves his beautiful.
He loves his kids. He loves his daughter. He loves his son. And I stress his children.
[00:46:56] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:46:56] Speaker B: Because they're his.
[00:46:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:46:58] Speaker B: You know, and I think that is the biggest piece to this. We, we, you know, we often say that what's going to happen when the kids are gone because they're such a big piece of our lives. Right.
But the love transcends always.
And just that little. This morning I was getting ready and he just came up behind me and just hugged me and said, look at that. You know, and he just keeping. He's a jokester, so I think that is the biggest piece because I'm the serious one and he's the jokester. So there's. There's laughter and he loves when he makes me laugh, you know, which is, which is. Again, it's beautiful. Some. I'm the organizer of getting things done. And he's like, oh, honey, it's fine. You know, he keeps you calm. He keeps smiling. He's my calm. I'm the one who holds the card when we go to Costco because, oh, you know, honey, let's get this done. Yeah.
[00:47:54] Speaker A: Because you just like me.
[00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:47:55] Speaker A: You have this focus and you want to finish and then move on.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:47:59] Speaker A: But life is not always about that, is it?
[00:48:01] Speaker B: No, it's not about. Okay. I've been with you for all these years, and so now it's just time to settle. And you do you, and I do me. It is a constant for me. It's a constant partnership of staying connected to him, wanting to be with him. You know, it is a joy to have him home. Is that he's. He's my best friend. He is my love. He is the one I yell at when I'm frustrated, and he takes it.
There is joy here.
You know, there is a God given, beautiful sacrificial love here and. No. Is it perfect? No.
We have very strong conversations.
Sometimes there's.
[00:48:48] Speaker A: That's normal. Yes, but because it comes in a safe space of love that you can have those strong conversations.
[00:48:55] Speaker B: Absolutely, yes.
[00:48:56] Speaker A: I mean, it doesn't mean that you, you're human, right. You have. You go through so many emotions and it's okay. You can yell, shout, scream, hate, love, whatever, but as long as you understand, you have each other.
[00:49:12] Speaker B: Yeah. There is, there's realness here. And I, I want our audience to hear that as well. That there is, there's Real, you know, there's real life, there's real ups, there's real downs, there's real tears. You know, this is not a fairy tale, but it is true love.
Absolutely love. Yes.
[00:49:32] Speaker A: So what do you have to say to the viewers any last minute?
[00:49:37] Speaker B: Just, just thank you. This has been so good to sit with one of my dear friends just to again have a conversation on life, love, advocacy and don't forget to reach out is what I would say.
That just keeps coming back to me. Don't.
I'm living proof that life sometimes happen, but it's how you navigate through it, right? So don't give up. Reach out. You are seen, you are loved.
There is someone out there for you, for all of us, you know, reach out to us, you know, but. But don't give up.
[00:50:16] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:50:16] Speaker B: Don't give up.
[00:50:17] Speaker A: Thank you, thank you, thank you. So far, you've been a blessing.
Is there any last minute or closing remarks you'd like to provide to our audience?
[00:50:28] Speaker B: No. Thank you, Raz. Thank you for having me. This has been such good conversation with my dear friend. I believe, I know we keep her repeating it, but I believe I would say reach out.
You know, like you said, there is hope. Right. And there is love, there is light, there is opportunities. And I'm living proof. You're living proof of you can go through life and navigating the ups and the downs and the bads and, and everything that life brings.
[00:50:56] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:50:57] Speaker B: It's life. It is going to happen. And I'm not trying to, to diminish anyone's pain or anything anyone is going through right now.
Trust me, I get it. I've been there.
And I may not understand your situation right now, but reach out.
[00:51:16] Speaker A: Absolutely. Thank you. You've been a blessing for me, for others, and I just wanted the audience to know from your own journey what you've gone through, that there is hope.
[00:51:28] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely.
[00:51:29] Speaker A: You've been a symbol of strength, courage, and the light you bring in others. It's just amazing. You radiate.
[00:51:38] Speaker B: Thank you so much, friend.
[00:51:39] Speaker A: And you radiate my life. And I want others to say they're enough.
[00:51:45] Speaker B: Yeah, they're enough. They are. They are enough. Yes. Thank you.
[00:51:48] Speaker A: You're loved.
[00:51:49] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:51:50] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:51:50] Speaker B: Thank you so much.
